ew lane

In my previous blog somebody thought that I was directing my rant at her. That simply was not the case. I have met many people in her situation that forget about the good things that they have while focusing on what they donapos;t have. It shows ingratitude for their life, and what they have in life. Quite frankly, I find it disgusting. When I saw this personapos;s tweets on her birthday bemoaning what she didnapos;t have it became the proverbial straw that broke the camelapos;s back. All I did was give words to the camelapos;s groans.
It was brought to my attention that my rant communicated "Hereapos;s what youapos;re doing wrong. Otherapos;s have it worse than you. Get over yourself." Going back over the blog, I can see that. My intent was to write a stern blog that communicated "Whatapos;s your fucking problem? You have so much to be thankful for, and you spend your time whining about what you donapos;t have." And the You was not aimed at any specific group of people or person. It was directed at those who have an ungrateful attitude. It was also something that I said to myself when I joined my dad on his journey with cancer.
You see, I was that ungrateful person who kicked and screamed, swore and yell over the things that I did not have in my relationships, in my material goods, and in my living situation. I became really down when I got laid off from my job in construction, and spent four months looking for a job until I finally got one. Whenever I went through the bad things because of my life or because of my rash choices, I never bothered to consider what good things I had. I never noticed.
I still get down every now and again. It has happened more frequently since I asked Carrie if she would be my wife, and she said yes. I see all the struggles that weapos;re going through right now, and I get down on myself and my bad choices. If I hadnapos;t lived my life like I was going to die before thirty -and I did- this wouldnapos;t be happening now. I begin to wallow, and I begin to forget that if I hadnapos;t made all those wrong turns in my life, I never would have met Carrie. There are other good things that have happened, and that have been used to wake me up and make better decisions, but Carrie is the best one.
However, when I get into that funk, I go talk to my dad. It isnapos;t about comparing struggles, and I am shamed to the point of getting over myself. Itapos;s about him finding peace, contentment, and joy while sitting on Deathapos;s front porch. When he shares with me the little things that he his thankful for, I ask myself "While heapos;s dying, he has so much gratitude for his life and what he has left, and you canapos;t find anything whatsoever in your life that makes you thankful for it? What the hell is your problem?"
That was the point of what I was writing then, and it is most certainly the point what I am writing now. I am sharing with whoever reads this the stern words I gave to myself to get over myself. With all the difficulties, the stresses, and the tragedies, life is still good. I have a few core friends(roots as the great philosopher madea would call them)that are there even in the bad times to give encouragement, and the necessary kick in the ass. Carrie is in my life. I have good books that I never tire of reading. I have movies that I never tire of watching. I enjoy good food. I enjoy good beer. I enjoy good whiskey. I enjoy watching cubs/sox baseball, and notre dame football with my dad. I enjoy debating theology with my dad.I enjoy being a guy with my dad(well when momapos;s not around. She tends to express her displeasure with the both of us a with a right cross). I get to spend my life with Carrie. There are many more things I could list, but I think they are enough. I am thankful for what I have. What I donapos;t have will work out on itapos;s own, and I may get them. Until then, I am thankful.

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